Launched from Wickford Village at 11:35 am made it to Narragansett. They are having the blessing of the fleet. I did find a room in next town. Reduced rate for the cause. She is coming to pick me and the kayak up. She will drop me off in the morning.
Leaving Wickford Village
The Kayak Center launch crew. Awesome people!
Woke up stuffed sinuses hard to breath. Will definitely launch tomorrow and head for Scarborough beach.
Will be launching today in the rain with wet gear as it was sitting in the back of the gasttruck. Memories of Maine! Should either make Narragansett or Scarborough today.
Well the marine report and weather has done it again. It wasn’t in the cards for me to leave yet. I will try again Thursday. The run will be fast down the coast. I will have to paddle 40+ NM to make distance. My rhythm will have to be a 5+ mph pace.
Spent day packing the dry bags. Repacking the clothes dry bags so all mission clothing is in one bag. I got rid of one big bag and went to 3 smaller ones. To make packing and weight balance easier.
Definitely oo launching tomorrow from Wickford Village RI
I have put on enough weight in fat hopefully to carry me through the next leg of my journey Rhode Island to Virginia Beach, VA. I expect to loose 30 pounds which should put me in at 190 pounds which is still a healthy weight. I look forward to continuing my mission. I will be back on the water Sunday.
There comes a time when one receives a calling which is much bigger than oneself.
Being an ambassador for Mission22 is such a calling.
Those of us who have answered the call and those that will get to choose how we accomplish our mission
We have all willingly accepted to go to war against veteran suicide. We each have are own reasons for joining. We all have a common goal to save the lives of veterans and in doing so are also saving families.
As we continue raising awareness and request donations we hope that the veterans in need will see it takes greater strength to ask for help than it does to go it alone. To those veterans in need you are not alone , there is a growing army that has your six. To the families of those veterans we are here to guide you in the right direction to get them the help they deserve and to preserve the family which is being torn apart.
We all get to choose how we spread the word, some locally others are trying to build national attention. We try to ally with the media and recruit allies on social media to get the word out.
As long as there is conflicts requiring are troops we will vigilantly continue to save them when they return home. We strive to make 22 a single digit number …0.
I am proud to be an ambassador and proud to be part of Mission22 as I am sure my fellow ambassadors are too.
I have figured out what causes my fear of crowds and it isn’t people.
While performing under water recovery I was trapped in confined spaces 3 times that I remember, one under a truck, one in a cave, and once in a small aircraft. The cave was bad as I had to force my way out bruising both hips and 4 ribs each side. The plane was the worse, upside down crushed cabin but enough room to wiggle in. I made my way to close to the cockpit. I thought I was being electrocuted. But there were no wires around me. As I was checking things out I realized there was a pointed piece of sharp metal right at my temple. If I had continued my wiggle I would have impaled myself on it.
So now I know why but haven’t figured out all the triggers yet.
I have gone to events with ever bigger crowds but had someone close to me in case. The first event went well. The second event was bigger and had music, I was good except the third song I started getting anxious, wanted to run but stayed almost passed out, but as soon as song ended I was fine. Stayed until end. Third event concert on a farm. Was fine until one act ncame on and I left to go to parking area. Talked to the woman taking tickets about Mission22 and my trip. My daughter called from Texas and I was fine. Fourth incident was large concert with my girlfriend. I was fine into the second act when I went to find food by myself. I was making my way through a crowd to the concession stand. I ordered my food and when I turned around there were people darting back and forth. I started getting anxious but kept telling myself I was okay and I would be fine once I got to my seat. I needed my girlfriend to talk to me but when I reach our seats she wasn’t there. Panic setting in but I sat down and ate. She came back and could see I wasn’t okay. We talked and hugged and kissed. I was better but not 100% for another 20 minutes or more.
I was thinking about these events and drew the conclusion that I may not ever fully heal, but I understand that I can attend events with someone who understands in case I get triggered they can help me overcome. I don’t think I would attempt this alone as I am still not sure how I would react if I totally lost it and I wish no harm on anyone but I am capable of severe harm.
I know I will probably have to accept this as my life and keep moving forward.
I hope this helps others.
Those of us who suffer from PTSD would like nothing better than to have a normal life. Some of us have come to grips with it in so me way but it looms over us like a cloud. You never know when its going to rain down on you.
This trip is allowing me to face my demons and to figure out how to minimize the effects of them. Maybe with time I can do away with them or accept them for what they are. Most important need to focus on moving forward and adapt and improvise.
Last night at my girlfriends house I was trying to sleep. Her daughters bedroom is below us and the air conditioner is running. Most people wouldn’t have a problem with this. To me it sounded like a USCG 41 footer heading across the water. Now this isn’t a problem but it triggers the memory of the 2004 plane crash where I was stuck in the plane while trying to extract the pilots wife in the cockpit. Now I am afraid to go to sleep. I am afraid of the nightmares I will have and how it will affect everyone in the house when I wake up screaming. How it will affect me for a couple of hours after. So I lay awake.
So I lay there and analyze the whole situation so that I can sleep in peace. First thought I have is my girlfriend telling me you need to deal with it. I figure out that the sound is not in our bedroom but coming from outside. Then I figure out her daughter has her air conditioner running. Next with are in a landlocked town miles from the ocean so I couldn’t hear a boat no matter how hard I tried.
I filled my head with enough reasoning and logic that I was able to come to peace and snuggle up to her and go to sleep.
I am still working on being in crowds. I am getting much better at it. I have had 2 episodes while being in a crowd where the first time I almost blacked out but stayed. The second I had to leave the area. Luckily on the second my daughter called me and got my mind off of things.
Its a work in progress and it is hard work but I will persevere and get through it.
Maybe when I get settled In Texas I will start a kayak support group for veterans with PTSD and teach them how to come to grips with their demons.
Weather pattern across the latitude I am on is same every day rain and thunderstorms.
acske2017 